Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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