You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
