I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
