D3 body, D1 cock
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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