that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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