He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
