Do you still have your period?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize