Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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