Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I've blown a few things in my day
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
