Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
