You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
