Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, beer. Big fan.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
