dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
