she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
