I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
farters have to be the big spoon...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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