And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
