He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
