I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
