Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
