Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
