Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
