Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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