sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
