Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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