You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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