So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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