Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
