Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
