OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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