i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
