would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
me + whiskey = a bad person
When are your genitals available?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize