I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
