how can u be prego again
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
