i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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