I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
