so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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