Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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