all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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