I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I love having hate sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize