He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
