im about as happy as oj after his trial
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
