You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize