He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
