It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize