R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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