remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
