God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
