Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
