Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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