I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
