It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
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she looked like the before picture.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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