ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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