Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize