just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
