just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
