i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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