No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
