So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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