Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
