I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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