Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
