but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
