I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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