And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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