O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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