Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
