Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
